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My Love For Her !!!!

I felt nothing for her. Nothing at all. Maybe I am heartless or maybe I am emotionally empty. I had loved her once or maybe not but we had once been in a relationship. I saw the sorrow in her eyes. I could tell that she did regret every single thing that she did to me . She deserved the tears. It really was of no use after so many years. At least not for me. Maybe I still loved her but she just cant walk in and out of my life. Two years back when she left me shattered and broken did I cry. maybe I did and maybe it is the price of those tears that she is paying now. She deserved the tears. She was herself responsible for her tears.

"I am sorry, I really am" , she said.

Those words seemed so blunt. I know she was sorry and I know she had regret but after what had happened I could not trust her. "But Whats the use after so long" I asked.

"I am sorry that I left you. That may have been my biggest mistake in life but you don't deserve to punish me like this. You know I still love you, you know I am sorry. I want to make it up to you.You know I had my reasons to leave you ." she said

I couldn't even get the meaning of her words. She may have had her reasons but she had left me without a word . Not even a goodbye , not even anything. I even tried to contact her . I had written her mails everyday for about 4 months after she left but she dint even bother to reply. And now she comes to me all of a sudden when I have already learned to live without her. When I have been able to pick up my broken life and am trying to move on with life.

"But I have learned to live without you" I said

"we can start over new" she replied

Start over new????? Even her shight was a pain to me. She made me remember all those days spent in pain missing her. My days spent with her was a waste of my time, we did share eternal memories but I felt nothing for her. I had vengeance for her in my heart and I had always wanted to ruin her life for ruining mine. But after seeing her even my hate for her died. I felt nothing. Empty from within.

"Sorry that is not possible" I said, " I don't think that I will ever be able to trust you again."

I saw pain in her eyes. She knew that she had changed me. The separation has changed me. She knew that I was no longer the cheerful old guy she used to love. I could see that her eyes had already swollen by crying for such a long time. Yet I felt nothing for her.

Then I realized that yeah after all she has changed me. And the love for her in me had died , finally.

Thank you for reading.
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Navin said…
Nirab bro, it's really sad to learn about that tragic incident in your life. Anyway, life has to go on.. and I'm sure, you'll have your wonderful woman of your life very soon.
Anonymous said…
I wish this would be not an imagination like first kiss...too heart touchy writting Speed and wish you will get a nice girl(not woman like Navin said, as long i know woman means aaimai...just kidding only)who do love you from the depth of her heart in real sense.

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